One way that children communicate with us is through their behaviour. As their parent / carer you are most likely able to tell when your child is overtired, frustrated, upset, worried or angry based on the way they behave. When your child “acts out” it can be useful to imagine this behaviour like the tip of an iceberg, with a wealth of emotions, thoughts and feelings hidden under the surface. Your child might not know how to express themselves when they are struggling with some of these big thoughts and feelings, and therefore will need your help to learn healthier ways to manage them.
One way you can do this is to set aside some regular time with your child to “check in” and give them an opportunity to talk about how they’re feeling. Your child might find it easier to talk to you if you start the conversation with an activity like baking, drawing or playing a game. It’s important to reassure your child that you are here to help them and to try and focus on understanding the thoughts, feelings, emotions and situations they are going through from their perspective. Whilst it’s important to outline why certain behaviours are not ok, it can be helpful to focus on validating the feelings behind the behaviour. For example: “it's normal to feel angry, but it’s not ok to hit someone as that hurts them”.
If you want to learn more about how to support your child with their behaviour here are some websites that you might find helpful.